at last, perestroika

Sat, 13 May 2006 04:16:08 GMT

Laika into retirement, she is going. Perhaps she will take up the macrame. For all the good time, Laika thank you.

Mon, 07 Jun 2004 03:27:33 GMT

I feel like I've crossed some kind of terrible Rubicon in my career as a furry fan. I've spent the last hour or so giggling like a loon at the MSTing of David Gonterman's notorious "Foxfire" web comic. Normally, I like to consider myself a champion of the underdog, especially when they have an active fantasy life and so many misunderstood kinks in common with me... but to borrow a phrase from the late Madeleine Kahn, "It's twue! It's twue!" His work's not just bad, it's aneurysmic.

It's also glorious, absurd fun.

Stan Lee appears in the first few strips to praise the ~~author~~ protagonist for his unrecognized artistic prowess, then doesn't appear for another 100 or so strips. (But the other characters are happy to take over for him -- they would be cumming over the ~~author~~ protagonist's work, if they weren't exhausted from all the gratuitous offstage sex scenes.) The main character goes into a tirade about the Burned Furs for no particular reason. The villains' human hosts look like geriatric juggalos. Some of the villains themselves are apparently named after people who criticized David's art. One of the other villains is apparently Barney the Dinosaur. The characters spontaneously develop supernatural abilities cribbed right out of American sentai shows. They also contract rhinoviruses from eating expired crackers; this is used as an excuse to give the main male character breasts. The main furry character's number of tails changes at the artist's whim, without explanation -- and so does her name, which he keeps forgetting how to spell. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin appears midway through the comic and wrestles the foxgirl for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. Mark McGuire makes a cameo appearance, just to knock out one of the villains with a stray home run. Characters shout movie catch phrases like "Groovy!" They also steal lines directly from Men In Black. They also fall head-over-heels in love with each other three frames after they meet. Rael -- yes, that Rael -- makes a guest appearance and that really worries me. One character wears a "Me So Yiffy" T-shirt. David breaks the fourth wall to threaten the Disney corporation with "leathal violence" [sic]. He refers to a fox and a cat character respectively as "Jim-Toddy-Kin" and "Sarah-Neko-Chan." He spells a single word three different ways: "rogue," "rouge," and... "rougue!?" It never occurs to him that mixing young children, furry lifestylers, and fursuits in the same strip might cause some, uh, uncomfortable associations. The story accelerates so quickly towards wish-fulfilling lesbianism and gender-bending, it actually made the spacetime grid around my monitor buckle and glow.

And that's the worst part. Bastard has so much in common with me. I felt that little romantic twinge deep in my heart, seeing all the body and mind play at work in this comic. And for that... I resent him. It's bad enough, that I might actually walk away from this festering artistic landfill with fantasy fodder -- and the reeking taint, the uncleansable semiotic B.O. it brings from the Gontermind will be stinking up my dreamlands for years to come. But having this be representing transformation play to legions of rightfully snickering normals... Augh. Makes me wonder what Strider Hiryu's doing this weekend after all. If he won't kill David Gonterman, maybe he can give me a quick, painless lobotomy while I'm not expecting it. >_

Just look for the angry dog... with the funny name!

at last, perestroika